walking a tightrope with a safety net...

it seems like everytime i take out my camera, i fall in love all over again. i never feel more comfortable or confident than when i am behind the lens. no joke.

i spent a good portion of my morning / early afternoon in chapters looking at books filled with other photographers visions' it made me want to get out in the world and capture every little bit of it on film, well technically on a memory card but whatever. i've never really had much of an "artistic side" , however when i have my camera in my hands i feel like i might.. it's one of the few ways, besides writting, that have truly let me express myself and i love it.

let me tell you about my love affair...
(how proactive of me) with graffiti, no i'm not joking. i love it, i wish i had that kind of artistic ability. i remember being really young and traveling up to montreal to visit family. we always used the public transportation system there because, well Quebecois drivers aren't exactly the best people to mess with... anyways, i remember that i used to love taking the train and the metro because of the sheer volume of graffiti that we would see. i loved it, i used to try to get my mom to take pictures of it, but "it would waste film", back in the day when we still used film... and then her and my nana would go on and on for what seemed like hours about how graffiti was defacing property... i never used to understand how they couldn't see that it made everything prettier, the colours, the shapes, the talent that i would never have. i still love graffiti, and i still don't understand how people bash it.
to this day when i take the go train i can't help but push my face up to the window and watch the colours go by, wishing that my camera would focus through the dirty fiberglass to capture some part of the artist's talent..
cheesy right? whatever, i'm a dork.
...besides, i won't need to wish anymore, wednesday i plan on going on an adventure in hamilton with my camera, hopefully i don't get mugged. (:

love♥

ps; just because i try not to talk about it, doesn't mean that i'm over it, that i feel better or that i'm ever going to be ohk.... i just don't want to be a burden.