& i knew that you meant it ...

it's just another one of those nights , i just seem to let my mind wander and it always seems to come back to the same thing .

i feel like something is missing , and i'm scared to admit that i know exactly what it is , because if i do , i might get hurt again . and i'm kind of over hurting all the time .

i'm also over people telling me that i'm some kind of spoiled princess , and that i've had everything handed to me . honestly , i want to prove to them that i can do it on my own , and maybe that's part of why i'm so keen on moving out . i need to prove something , not only to those people , but to myself . the thing is i'm scared , and the person that used to be able to make me feel like i could do anything i put my mind to , doesn't talk to me anymore .

there i said it , i'm pretty sure that's what i'm missing . i think that the best thing that he ever said to me was "you're doing great ." and it's probably because i knew he actually meant it .

fuck . i can't do this .


love ♥

ps. stoked on the hills season 5 , i need a distraction from my drama and this looks like it's going to be a pretty sweet one .